Food. You can't live with it, you can't live without it.
(Page kept for sentimental reasons. Ignore it if you don't like it!)
Well... Thats not totally true. The world record is living 59 days without
food. Then again, he died 5 minutes later, so he didnt make a good point, I
think. Got his picture in the paper, though. Some people like that. People are
Ah. Anyways... It appears some of the weirdoes on the Net actually make food
for themselves occasionally. OR they steal receipts from their aunts. Anyways,
here's a Cunning
Cookbook for you.
On numerous requests... I also bring my very own secret&can't-go-wrong
Pomme du terre flambage et vain.
Ok. What you do is get a standard potato. Try and see if you can remove some
of the earth from the thing. Then you put it on a fork, and hold it into
some open fire. You may want to use a fork with a wooden shaft or something,
as energy diffuses through metal at a rather high rate.
When something starts to smell very bad, whether its you or the potato isnt
very important, DO remove the potato from the fire, pour some wine on it AND
on your hand. That's it and that's that. Enjoy!
Second, and this is for professionals only, I have decided to share with you my
most utterly deep receipt-secret:
The B-Chef's Mix la Fridge.
First of all, you MUST have a fridge. Then comes the easy part: Go to
whereever you buy your whateveryoueat. Then buy whateveryoueat, but DON'T eat
it. Not all of it, at least.
Then you put this stuff into the refrigerator, throw in some old socks you'll
never get clean anyways, the neighbour's dog if you can't stand the barking.
What the heck... We'll throw in the neighbour as well! You may need a good
meatcleaver for this.
All put inside? Goodie. Now pull out the plug, so you are sure the cooling
element isn't on duty. Let the fridge stand in some corner you don't visit
too often for about two weeks. In these two weeks you should work out quite a
bit. The next part involves shaking the fridge around quite a bit quite a
while, you see. Keep doing this until some fluid starts to float out of the
refrigerator. Now we're almost done (as opposed to your neighbour that will be
totally done by now), all that remains is to go outside, pour some flammable
stuff onto the fridge and set it on fire.
When the fire disappears (if you're not very patient, just use a
fire-extinguisher. Some people actually prefer it this way. If your
extinguisher is halon-based, DO remember to use it before January 1st, 1995.
After this date, halon is illegal to use in most civilized countries, i.e.
countries with Internet-access.), just open the refrigerator and have your
family, friends and neighbour for dinner (whoooops. Pun intended #:D)