Rather plain-looking bag, this one. It is finished in a discrete gray color, with the very discrete description "For motion discomfort", in the languages English, French, German, Spanish, Japanese and Chinese.

The only note-worthy thing about the bag is the metal cord following the opening, enabling you to lock up the bag very good, so that uhm... the stuff you put into it doesn't come out again too easily. How American! How convenient!

Thanks to Fred McKinney for forwarding the following information to me:

Comedian Mike Warnke, on his "Live -- Totally Weird" album, poked fun at the barf bags of Delta Airlines this way:

"...and just so there'll be no confusion, it is written in five languages. At the top, in red letters, it says "for motion discomfort". This means that if you're at the mall and your feet get tired of walking, you can just sit down somewhere and ram 'em in this bag.

Below that, it's in French -- 'Pour le mal de l' air' -- in case you want to throw up in French, like le barf, le puke, le chunks.

Under that, it's in German, and German is a very practical language. It says 'Für Luftkrankheit' -- that *sounds* like you're throwing up! 'Hey, how do you pronounce this word?' 'Just sound it out!'

And then it's in Spanish, and Spanish has a way of making *everything* sound so festive. It says 'Para las nauseas' (he then goes off into la-la-ing 'La Cucharacha' and ends with singing it like he's barfing it!). That'll keep ya away from Taco Bell for about a year!

And then under that, it's in Japanese (attempts to fake Japanese), in case you want to throw up in Japanese" (in a Japanese accent) Toyota! (normal southerner / redneck tone of voice) Oh, what a feeling!

And then, after all that, it has one of the most useless pieces of information I have ever seen in my life. It says 'After use, fold down top'. Yeah, right, like I'm gonna show all those colors to everyone else on this plane, like 'Look at what I did! As long as we're all going to California, I'd like to share this experience with you!'

And then, after that, it says, 'For bag disposal, please page flight attendant'. Ding, ding, ding! Hey, I've got a full one! But what's she supposed to do with it? Those things are made in Canada -- that means she can't throw 'em in the toilet! Because at the toilet there's a sign saying "Do not put foreign objects in the toilet!". "

Last modified: Sun May 25 18:03:06 MET DST 1997