What shall we do with the drunken Stormtrooper?
The Trouble with Troopers
Alternative future Star Wars fiction, by Anslpar@aol.com
With the tide turning against the Empire, it is only responsible that we begin to consider the dismantling, reorganization and reconciliation of Imperial organizations. For the most part, Imperial military personnel are just like anyone else and can be trusted to adjust to a new role as guardians of the New Republic, the fact that defections are on the rise attests to that. One group has never had a defection and it is that group that most concerns this committee.

The Stormtrooper has been a symbol of Imperial power and an instrument of fear for too many years. They are incorruptible, duty bound, untiring, never routed, always on task and able to operate alone or in groups with unprecedented precision. The reason for these traits has been known for a number of years but kept secret to avoid commotion. It is time now to face the facts and address the post-Imperial problem assimilating the Stormtroopers into the New Republic will become.

It seems we fought the Clone Wars for naught. Early in the pre-Empire expansion, loyal troops were hard to come by, mostly due to the sheer number required to man and control the military. Scientists turned to cloning "super soldiers" and the first Stormtroopers were born.

Devoid of true free will or emotion, and dependent on a suit of biomechanical enhancing armor, Stormtroopers provided an exploitable resource for any environment. Genetic manipulation accounts for environmental and skill specialty but as noted by many, Stormtroopers appear to come in one size and shape.

Stormtrooper culture, if it can be called that, is very limited. When off duty they are performing maintenance or in stasis, regenerating. Their identity is restricted to a series of letters and numbers denoting their batch of origin and enhancements. None have ever been known to express individuality nor is there any discernible rank structure among them.

This is due to their biomechanical armors enhancements, basically linking them all into a sensory network that allows them to share information and communicate instantaneously. Removing the armor from a Stormtrooper is fatal, prisoners have never been taken alive.

It is rumored that the bounty hunter Boba Fett is a former Stormtrooper. The story goes that he was a prototype for an intellectual enhancement who managed to achieve an individuality previously bred out of the clones. Even so, he required a suit of biotech armor that was not a part of the network and able to sustain his life systems.

The somewhat unique and hodgepodge armor Boba Fett wears is said to be the resulting solution. Once disconnected from the network he was free to operate independently but being the sum of his cloned genetics, bounty hunting was one of the few fields he could make a living in.

We presently have no solution to the question of what to do with the Stormtroopers upon our final victory over the Empire. It is doubtful they will surrender nor can they find peace in a non-military environment.

The thought of eradicating them is not only distasteful and cruel but will probably come at a higher than tolerable loss of life. Some of the more creative solutions are discussed below.

It has been suggested that their considerable talents for survival and cooperation could be used to terraform and tame worlds currently too inhospitable for colonization. This option requires their cooperation as although they may be captured and corralled, it will become difficult to remove them when their job is done. The result could be the creation of a clone home world, tenaciously defended and most likely looking to expand.

The simplest option could be to store them all in stasis until sometime that we can integrate them or need their services as soldiers. This could be the most tasteful option for them as a "people" but their loyalty would always be suspect. Once in statsis, the urge to use them for research and special missions may be too great to ignore. Such practices would further expose the Republic to retaliation from the Stormtroopers as a group.

The greatest of effort would be required to make these semi-humans whole. A way would need to be found to separate them from their biotech armor without killing them. Since the integration of the armor and being is a mystery, a great deal of research would be involved.

Further psychological and biochemical work would be needed to find a way to awake their humanity and individuality, if that is even possible. There is no way to predict the cost, outcome or time involved in such an effort.

Again we would require the Stormtroopers' improbable cooperation or incarceration, awake or in stasis. Awake, in cooperation or incarcerated, we risk organized action that may include violence.

The probable result of inaction would most likely result in one or more highly efficient mercenary forces available to criminal, corporate, private and Republic government customers.

This could result in increased organized crime activity, corporate and private wars and the military's dependence on a mercenary force with questionable motives and loyalties. All are unacceptable individually much less in a group of any combination.

Whatever we do, it must be comprehensive and definitive. So, it is the unfortunate duty of this committee, to recommend the pursuit, capture and execution of the semi-human, inhumane but blameless Stormtroopers of the Empire.

Unless, through gaining access to their data network, we can subdue and control them long enough to determine if controlled incarceration is possible until a more palatable solution can be devised.

Cost may be the greatest factor working against Stormtrooper reintegration into society, how long will the New Republic's taxpayers tolerate the care, even in stasis, of possible hopelessly inhumane clones. We will put the matter to a vote in one week. May the Force be with us.